As expected and promised

As promised, XME delivered and returned to the win column with a win over the Drunken Dodgers on Sunday.

Instead of boring you with a recap of the game (like I could ever bore you), I just want to give a quick shout to both Anne and Jeremy Joy for their ridiculous pitching skills.

If you remember, in my last post I asked you all to email the Drunken Dodger's Captain and let her know exactly how awesome XME is. Loyal teammates and readers, Kate received hundreds if not thousands of emails riddled with trash talk and demeaning comments.

I of course was somehow able to pick out the best two:

From: Zamir Ahmed <********@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 4:25 PM
Subject: A note on the pain being brought this weekend
To: katiemmaxwell@hotmail.com
Cc: TRockNMatt@gmail.com

Dear Kate,

As the founder, president, and sole member of the It's Not Me, It's You Fan Club - Zamir Ahmed Chapter, I feel compelled to join in the pre-game banter and engage in America's favorite pastime - ridiculing weaker and inferior opponents with humorous put-downs and Yo Mama jokes. How am I NOT supposed to jump into this fight since we all know this game will produce the greatest ass-whoopin' since this kid met breakdancing. I would say that this game is like Chuck Norris fighting these guys but that's an insult to the Texas Ranger. There's not a chance in hell that any amount of training, even as a montage, will save you from a fate worse than death. You should forfeit now to avoid the embarrassment and try to redeem yourselves at the bar by participating in flip cup. Participation is a far cry from actually winning though, but maybe you'll somehow pull off one of the greatest upsets ever.

Of course, the outcome of this game is meaningless since neither XME or DRK will have any shot against my team in the playoffs. Team Blitzkrieg will be opening up a can of Kristallnacht on you all come postseason. You have been warned.

Disrespectfully,

Zamir Ahmed

Captain and Chief Aryan

Team Blitzkrieg

Founder and President

It's Not Me, It's You Fan Club

Zamir Ahmed Chapter

________________________________________________________________

From: Jeremy Joy <********@gmail.com>

Date: Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 3:58 PM
Subject: The DRK fall to the dominating XME squad
To: katiemmaxwell@hotmail.com
Cc: TRockNMatt@gmail.com

Dear Kate Maxwell,

It’s Not Me, It’s You (from hereinafter “XME”) is a beast of a team that not many people can take down. I don’t see that changing when we play, your team, the Drunken Dodgers (from hereinafter “DRK”) on Sunday. I mean let’s face it, the DRK are not known for their on the field presence or their flip cup table prowess. This is why I feel a little guilty (that may or may not be a lie) sending this e-mail because it is just adding more insult to the soon to be injury.

I noticed the attempt to rebuild during the off-season by adding some new additions. I like the moves. Hopefully you all will redeem yourselves and win more than one game this season. It is just not going to happen against us on Sunday on the field or at the table.

On a more positive note, I would like to give your team some credit in that they do represent well at the bar and seem like they know how to have a good time. The DRK are one of the more fun teams participating on Sundays. Notice how I said one of the more because there again the DRK still fall short to the awesomeness that is XME.

Now for some predictions:

Kickball: XME wins 11-2 with the two runs coming from XME being distracted as we witness Bill Belichick, yet again, hit another innocent girl in the head.

Flip Cup: XME will eventually get bored of dominating and go play with a more competitive team.

Awesomeness: See above.

In parting, congrats on assembling a fun team this season that I hope can co-mingle and join some of the social events that our team will be hosting. Just be prepared for the business that will be handled on the field and off this coming Sunday.

IT’S YOU!,

Jeremy Joy

XME's Social Chair

P.S. I would recommend practicing your roshambo just so you can at least walk away with a little win, and not just all fail on Sunday

____________________

I can't make this stuff up,
-Craig (MATT)