Shutout!

Another week of kickball is in the books and it’s another W for It’s Not Me, It’s You. This week XME performed solidly in all phases of the game leading to a shutout win 4-0 over the shorthanded In the Faaaaccce. The game drew comparisons from onlookers to the basketball scenes out of 3OH!3’s video. The defensive showing was the best of the season and it was the first shutout of what is surely to be many. The win puts XME at 3-1 and into a tie for 1st place in the division! Conference standings to date:

Constitution Conference Standings
1. XME (3-1-0)
2. EYE (3-1-0)
3. ORG (3-1-0)
4. LIQ (3-1-0)
5. SHT (3-1-0)
6. DKP (3-1-0)
7. POO (2-1-1)
8. WEN (2-1-1)
9. DAL (2-1-1)
10. WHJ (2-2-0)
11. ITB (2-2-0)
12. KCK (1-2-1)
13. R76 (1-3-0)
14. CHG (0-4-0)
15. DRK (0-4-0)
16. INF (0-4-0)

As always, your captains Craig and I are proud of the energy and enthusiasm on display Sunday and look forward to kicking the balls off the competition in the weeks to come.

This week provided another kickball event: the mid-season party at Midtown Loft. With all predictions pointing to out esteemed social chair topping this dude’s BAC we were all ready for a good time. Being the league drunk that he is, Jeremy planned our arrival so we’d be sure to be there early just in case there were any bottles of vodka lying around. The party got underway and a few things became clear early on. The first was the potentially disastrous combination of small drink cups and only 2 bartenders. However, upon further inspection, the bartenders were ok in our book. The second was the sense that something felt different about the night, this would not be your normal kickball drinking event and I just couldn’t place my finger on why (not until later anyway).

As the night went on and more kickballers arrived, XME played a little bar shuffleboard with giddy anticipation for the unveiling of Jack Fan’s birthday surprise (which apparently turned out to be his 2nd best birthday surprise). Zamir Ahmed – President of the It’s Not Me, It’s You Fan Club, Zamir Ahmed Chapter – had a stroke of genius one night for an awesome birthday surprise for the esteemed director of CHASE, Jack Fan: “I am a Jack Fan” t-shirts. The shirts were a big hit and Zamir deserves all the credit for putting it together, nice work Zamir.

As the night grew old and we prepared to go our separate ways I looked around and was shocked at what I saw: Jeremy Joy was still in the bar, hadn’t been kicked out, and was not passed out. Clearly this night was like no other kickball event before.

This week overall was a great week for kickball and kickball-related drinking. Next week brings with it a challenge as we will be taking on KCK led by the legendary Bill Belichick. With a record of (1-2-1) the matchup does not seem to be much of a challenge, but any team led by the legend himself always has a chance. If we stay focused and play solid defense I know we can be the Dwyane Wade to KCK’s Anderson Varejao.

Enjoy the weekend and get ready to dominate on the field and at the table, and until next time…

Go Balls Deep,
T Rock

P.S. Entrance music is happening THIS WEEK! If you haven’t yet sent me a song choice to use for your at-bats I will choose something that you might not find as funny as everyone else. Get on it!

As expected and promised

As promised, XME delivered and returned to the win column with a win over the Drunken Dodgers on Sunday.

Instead of boring you with a recap of the game (like I could ever bore you), I just want to give a quick shout to both Anne and Jeremy Joy for their ridiculous pitching skills.

If you remember, in my last post I asked you all to email the Drunken Dodger's Captain and let her know exactly how awesome XME is. Loyal teammates and readers, Kate received hundreds if not thousands of emails riddled with trash talk and demeaning comments.

I of course was somehow able to pick out the best two:

From: Zamir Ahmed <********@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 4:25 PM
Subject: A note on the pain being brought this weekend
To: katiemmaxwell@hotmail.com
Cc: TRockNMatt@gmail.com

Dear Kate,

As the founder, president, and sole member of the It's Not Me, It's You Fan Club - Zamir Ahmed Chapter, I feel compelled to join in the pre-game banter and engage in America's favorite pastime - ridiculing weaker and inferior opponents with humorous put-downs and Yo Mama jokes. How am I NOT supposed to jump into this fight since we all know this game will produce the greatest ass-whoopin' since this kid met breakdancing. I would say that this game is like Chuck Norris fighting these guys but that's an insult to the Texas Ranger. There's not a chance in hell that any amount of training, even as a montage, will save you from a fate worse than death. You should forfeit now to avoid the embarrassment and try to redeem yourselves at the bar by participating in flip cup. Participation is a far cry from actually winning though, but maybe you'll somehow pull off one of the greatest upsets ever.

Of course, the outcome of this game is meaningless since neither XME or DRK will have any shot against my team in the playoffs. Team Blitzkrieg will be opening up a can of Kristallnacht on you all come postseason. You have been warned.

Disrespectfully,

Zamir Ahmed

Captain and Chief Aryan

Team Blitzkrieg

Founder and President

It's Not Me, It's You Fan Club

Zamir Ahmed Chapter

________________________________________________________________

From: Jeremy Joy <********@gmail.com>

Date: Fri, Apr 30, 2010 at 3:58 PM
Subject: The DRK fall to the dominating XME squad
To: katiemmaxwell@hotmail.com
Cc: TRockNMatt@gmail.com

Dear Kate Maxwell,

It’s Not Me, It’s You (from hereinafter “XME”) is a beast of a team that not many people can take down. I don’t see that changing when we play, your team, the Drunken Dodgers (from hereinafter “DRK”) on Sunday. I mean let’s face it, the DRK are not known for their on the field presence or their flip cup table prowess. This is why I feel a little guilty (that may or may not be a lie) sending this e-mail because it is just adding more insult to the soon to be injury.

I noticed the attempt to rebuild during the off-season by adding some new additions. I like the moves. Hopefully you all will redeem yourselves and win more than one game this season. It is just not going to happen against us on Sunday on the field or at the table.

On a more positive note, I would like to give your team some credit in that they do represent well at the bar and seem like they know how to have a good time. The DRK are one of the more fun teams participating on Sundays. Notice how I said one of the more because there again the DRK still fall short to the awesomeness that is XME.

Now for some predictions:

Kickball: XME wins 11-2 with the two runs coming from XME being distracted as we witness Bill Belichick, yet again, hit another innocent girl in the head.

Flip Cup: XME will eventually get bored of dominating and go play with a more competitive team.

Awesomeness: See above.

In parting, congrats on assembling a fun team this season that I hope can co-mingle and join some of the social events that our team will be hosting. Just be prepared for the business that will be handled on the field and off this coming Sunday.

IT’S YOU!,

Jeremy Joy

XME's Social Chair

P.S. I would recommend practicing your roshambo just so you can at least walk away with a little win, and not just all fail on Sunday

____________________

I can't make this stuff up,
-Craig (MATT)