July Madness

Good day to all my esteemed readers!

Yesterday was the end of season tournament for the Summer 2009 season. The 10-week regular season of blood, sweat, and tears had ended, and all that remained was a 16-team single elimination tournament for the right to be called Champion. As you could have likely guessed, I’d Hit That’s 1-10(?) record left us just shy of a post-season birth. Although I’m pretty sure that even if we had made it, we would have had to forfeit due to lack of players. But that’s beside the point.

Believe it or not, I’d Hit That really did just miss the post season. The team that beat us out for the 16-seed was actually tied with us with just one regular season win. However the selection committee opted to go leave us out, seeing as the other team in question had legitimately won their game as opposed to winning by a forfeit like I’d Hit That did.
I digress… T-Rock and I, being the superstar Kickballers that we are, were of course recruited by our friends on “That’s What She Said” to play as ringers. Disguised in our dark yellow shirts, T-Rock and I sacrificed our bodies for the cause.

Tim's leg after 2 epic diving catches.

My scrapped up arm the day after sliding to beat out a throw at 3rd

Competing against the unsportsmanlike and ungentlemanly dark pink team (whose name shall not be mentioned), T-Rock and Myself playing integral roles in a back and forth game that came all the way down to the last out.

Down by 1 in the bottom of the fifth with 2 outs, T-Rock managed a line drive single to left. Kicking behind T to protect him the lineup, I came up to the plate and managed a slow dribbler down the 3rd base line. Needless to say I beat out the throw and was able to advance T to 2nd base, or into scoring position if you prefer baseball lingo. Unfortunately, the next kicker popped out and so ended out playoff stint.

I would like to express my displeasure and disgust with the on field manner of the said Pink Team. They were argumentative and downright rude. Even going so far as to accuse yours truly of cheating, and we all know very well how I feel about that.

**Correction—We all know how I feel about that.

Also, note to [team name redacted]: it’s a bad idea to piss off the team that will be refereeing your next game should you go on to beat them.

Moving on…

After losing our first round game, my adopted team was assigned to officiate second round games. Sick of dealing with [team name redacted] T and I volunteered to head over to field B and ref the game between a hybrid light pink team and Scrawsome(?).

Overall it was a pretty boring game. Both teams excelled at short ball and the game ended pretty quickly with a convincing pink team victory. And just in time too; back on field A, the tension level was high and tempers were flaring. [Team name redacted]’s captain actually charged the mound in protest and had to be physically restrained.

Normally I would excuse this type of behavior. In the playoffs, it’s not uncommon to get fired up, and sometimes people can take the game a little more seriously than it should be taken. But to consistently show that kind of behavior is unacceptable. We’re professionals!

The game field A game was epic. By far the greatest game I have had the pleasure to witness. After trading blows all game, and remaining tied up after 2 extra innings, it all came down to a longest kick competition. Our friends over on “We got the runs” against [team name redacted]. God only knows how much the spectators were pulling for “We Got the Runs”. Unfortunately the cheers were to no avail as [team name redacted emerge victorious and advanced to the semifinal round.

Immediately after what everyone thought was the marquee game of the day ended, word started going around that the game on field B between “Lose some weight and we’ll talk” and a green team, whose name is currently evading me, was headed to extra innings.

In the bottom of the 7th, with 2 outs, LSWAWT (I know, ridiculous abbr.) knocked in a walk off RBI to win the game and move on to the finals.

Rather than watch [team name redacted] in the finals, I chose to go to the bar and drink away a disappointing inaugural campaign.

Thank you to everyone for a great season! I look forward to playing with all of you again soon.

Tournament Day was by far the most exciting day of the season and I really wish that Chase would consider having a preseason tournament in addition to the post-season one.

On a random side note, I had a very interesting conversation with Chase League commissioner Jack Fan. I just want to thank him for everything that he’s done. I really like the direction that he’s taking the league in.

By next post I expect everyone who has verbally committed to sign his or her letters of intent and join T-Rock and I in our quest for the Fall Championship. Refer to my previous post for step-by-step directions.

Until Next time,
-MATT

Team Name Officially Unveiled!

Happy Monday all!

As T-Rock mentioned last post, our rookie campaigns have officially come to a close. It was truly a roller coaster season, beginning with the high expectations that we had at the start of the season, then quickly turning into a fight to stay above .500, and ultimately culminating with an embarrassing string of forfeitures.

Anyway, after deciding to test the free agent market, T-Rock and I have jointly decided that our best chance at bringing both the Kickball Championship and the Golden Keg to Crystal City lies with starting our own team.

So the announcement you’ve all been waiting for….drum roll please…. T-Rock and I will be defecting from DC Kickball and starting an expansion team in Chase Kickball. Operating under the team name “It’s not me, it’s you”, we hope to have a very successful and fun 1st season.

While this may come as a surprise to many, Chase first approached us a few weeks ago ----since Chase is technically a league as opposed to another team, this can’t be considered tampering. I’ll reiterate, I don’t stand for cheating— Moving on, Chase first approached T-Rock and I a few weeks ago and offered up a mutually beneficial opportunity.
We all just have to hope that Chase’s inaugural season turns out better than the last time a new league was started for one of the major sports.

If you think you’re tough enough, strong enough, hungry enough, and thirsty enough for that matter, then T-Rock and myself want you to be on our winning team!

By Audible’s request, step-by-step instructions are listed below (yes, step-by-step).

1. Go to Chase Kickball’s website: http://www.chasekickballs.com/
2. Click ‘Register’ on the top left.
3. Click ‘Register’ for the Downtown conference (we’re going to play on Wednesday, can’t miss my Dolphins)
4. Enter all of the required info, making sure selecting our team name (It’s not me, it’s you) from the drop down menu.
5. Check the all of the boxes, enter any comments that you have about how awesome T-Rock and I are in the comments box, then click submit.
6. Leave a comment on the blog or shoot us an email telling us more about yourself.
7. Get ready to kick ass and take names in the upcoming Fall Season.

Until next time
-MATT

Summer Season is Over

The Summer Kickball season has come to a close and free agency officially began 12:01am yesterday – meaning teams could officially extend offers for the fall season. After sifting through the offers and weighing our options Matt and I have reached a decision. We will be forming a new kickball team focused on winning on the field and on the table NOW. This is not a project, not a “team of the future”, not a team looking to develop and contend later on – the time is now.

One very serious offer we had been considering was to re-sign with I’d Hit That and try and rebound from a kickball season worse than the all-midget high jump team. However, the final 3 weeks of the season we had a total of 9 people show up. That’s right, 3 games, 3 people show up at each. That kind of showing, regardless of our current standing, led us very much away from re-signing. The members of the team – when they did show up – were great people and fun to hang out with. Not always the best ball-kickers (or catchers, it was kind of like watching those kids in the outfield of the MLB HR Derby), but pretty much always the best cup-flippers. We had a fun season, and a successful bar season, but we are moving on.

During the latest weak showing Matt took it upon himself to unite members of other teams in order to field a team for a game just for fun. I don’t exactly recall the outcome, but word on the street is that Matt was able to unite the rainbow team and lead them to strong showing. This comes as no surprise; he has always been skilled at rallying up the rainbow cause and does it often. So with Matt’s rainbow skills he will assume the role of Captain for this new team. I will be taking on the role of Co-Captain/President of Kickball Operations – to my understanding that will include scouting, recruiting, contract negotiations, and most importantly, making sure Matt’s “leadership” tactics are effective by giving better motivational speeches when he’s not around. We have commits from a very solid core and will be making a very serious run at the title. The name of our new found team will be…. revealed in Matt’s next post – after all, he is the Captain and the team name was his idea.

As kickball free agency is now in full swing it will be a very busy time, but we are looking to do whatever it takes to field a winning team and to provide a fun experience for our fans. We are looking at options to acquire public funding to perhaps build a brand new stadium for the team – most likely to be paid in full by collecting one year of Marion Barry’s bail and court costs. We are looking to acquire the best 3-tool players available (1 – Kickball skill, 2 – flip-cup skill, 3 – physical attractiveness …in reverse order of importance) and will make our team the best it can be. If you have any questions, funny pictures of Matt, or just general things about how I’m all-around better than him, email them to us.


See you in the fall,
T Rock

Points of Clarification

Greetings fans, I’d like to start out with a response to what Craig had to say.

First, the blog is after all, MY blog and I will name it what I please. Craig will hopefully be posting on it to provide additional perspective during our offseason, sort of like the little umbrella in a drink – it’s nice to have, but when you want to get down to business you just put it off to the side. While on the topic of names, I’d like to share a conversation I had with Craig leading up to posting of my first entry:
T Rock: I’m creating a blog to detail the process. Quick, pick a fun nickname for the blog. I’m using T Rock.
Craig: Lol. Pick a not gay one for me.
T Rock: The Jew? C Rose? Crosen? Cock Knocker? Craig?
Craig: The Jew works fine.



Here is a screen shot of my phone of this text conversation to help dispel any anti-Semitic rumors flying around, and would like to say that I love Jews just as much as the makers of the Lincoln Town Car.

Keeping with the names theme, I will hence forth be referring to Craig as Matt. I’m not sure I like it, and it reminds me too much of his creepy obsession with Matt Damon – he loves Matt Damon like Tom Cruise loves crazy. Eventually a new nickname may follow.

According to the little sitemeter thing at the bottom, we are approaching 200 hits, and have already become more popular than a Congressional Ethics Seminar. With that said, I’d like to give a shout out to a current teammate, the first official “Follower” of the blog, and a key target this offseason – Audible. Second shout out goes to the future head of the T Rock/Matt fan club, Hotlanta chapter – Colors. Thanks for the support.

Finally, I’d like to address the topic of a T Rock/Matt separation come fall – It’s not going to happen. Victory is the only option and any team with a core of sophomore superstars will be an instant contender for a long time – I won’t be the TO to his McNabb, or to his Garcia, or to his Romo… Thanks again for checking out the blog, and feel free to email any questions, comments, or hate mail to TRockNMatt@gmail.com

T Rock

Day in the Life

Hey All (and by all I mean the 10 people I know at work who are actually bored enough to read this),

First of all I want to welcome everyone to the blog. Personally I would have gone with a slightly different name. However, seeing as the blog was T-Rock’s idea. I chose to let him feel important and name it.

In addition to giving the blog an awful name, T-Rock also gave me a god-awful nickname. While I am a member of the Jewish community, I find the nickname of “Jew” to be in poor taste. Therefore on this blog I will from here on be referred to as “More Awesome Than T-Rock” or, for the sake of brevity, MATT for short. And for the sake of appearance MATT will be written as Matt.

In summary: Every time you see my name on the site, you are to think of how much better/cooler/smarter/sexier/wittier/kinder/funnier/[insert positive quality here] I am than T.

Moving on… I’m Craig [read: Matt] and like T-Rock, I have chosen to after my rookie year, opt out of my contract with I’d Hit That at season’s end. After a break out first year campaign that had me on the tip of everyone’s tongue for rookie of the year honors, I think now is time to move on. While the average career span of a Kickballer is typically pretty long, I believe myself to currently be in my prime and would like to go somewhere where I can play an integral part of bringing home a championship.

I plan to use this site as a forum to keep all my fans in the loop about contract negotiations, off-season workouts and to provide my take on any Kickball related issues.

It has recently come to my attention that many of you are wondering what the future will hold for T-Rock and myself. Specifically, which teams each of us will end up playing for come the start of next season?

While currently I am unable to provide an answer to that question, I’ll try and provide my take on some of the more pertinent issues below as I take you through my day yesterday.

I woke up and responded to some emails. One from ESPN Beat Writer John Clayton caught my eye. He asked me which teams have shown interest in me for next season. An interesting question John! However, My agent told me not to mention any teams by name for the fear that it may mess up the negotiation process. But I can say this; currently I have around three standing offers from teams around the district who are in need of a good left fielder. I’m not going to go into details regarding my interests in the offers.

Then I logged onto ESPN.com as I do every morning to see the latest rumors about myself. I couldn’t help but notice an article by Page 2 Columnist Jemele Hill the lack of diversity in the Kickball community with a specific focus on African-Americans. My take on the situation is as follows: Seeing as my people are viewed as the athletic minority, it’s easy for me to understand where Jemele is coming from. I think more than anything the sport needs to find an African American superstar. Look at tennis, golf, and swimming. They found a superstar for minorities to look up to and now all three of those are now… wait a minute they’re all still considered rich white people sports. On second though, forget I said anything…

After showering and getting dressed I met my buddy Adam for some breakfast. Nothing too exciting happened, but I do want to give Adam props. Dude is the MOST generous tipper I have ever seen.

After breakfast I worked out. I take conditioning very seriously and credit my workout routine and devotion for much of my on-field success As any of my current and former teammates will tell you, I take my workouts very seriously and will not break focus for anything.


I decided to actually answer a few questions after I finished the workout. Someone asked me if I would consider parting ways with T-Rock and signing with another team. This is a touchy subject for me. I mean I’m not going to lead everyone to believe that if T-Rock signs somewhere that I’ll follow.
I do have a lot of love for T-Rock, we’ve known each other for a long time, a VERY long time But my goal is to win a championship both on the field and at the flip cup table. I plan to go with the team that I believe is in the best situation to accomplish that. End of discussion.
Before heading out, I returned a phone call from my friend and Albuquerque Isotopes standout Manny Ramirez. We talked for a few minutes, but for some reason he hung up on me mid-sentence and I couldn’t get a hold of him after that when I tried to call him back. No idea what he could have been doing.
My friendship with Manny has raised a lot of questions about my possible use of performance enhancing drugs. I understand these concerns. I’ve actually heard rumors that up to 50% of active players are on “The Juice”. To the originators of these rumors I respond.
“Well, Matt’s not one of them, so that's 49 percent right there.” And you can take that one to the bank.

Seriously though, while my rookie year accomplishments seem impressive and could possibly give some the idea that I was on some type of performance enhancing drug, I assure you that I’m clean. I have complied with all testing requirements and will continue to do so. In our sport, we have no room for cheaters! I consider myself blessed with athletic ability and am so happy would never do anything to jeopardize my future in the sport. I love playing Kickball more than anything and would so much rather make a living like this than say, working construction.

I then took off to see a movie with a buddy who would prefer that his name not be mentioned here. On the way over, I heard a story on the radio about how Real Madrid is shelling out millions to acquire some of the world’s premier Kickballers. This got me thinking about whether or not I’d sell out and take the leap overseas. After about 0.52345 seconds of deep thought, all of my fans can rest assured that I will NOT sell-out and play abroad.

The rest of my night was pretty uneventful; a casual dinner, and then some time at home surfing the net.

Thank you to everyone who made it all the way through! I promise that as soon as I know any more details about what next season may hold, I’ll post it up here.

-Matt